Islay bound...

I was out for my morning constitutional with Sampster and Wolfie the other day and met up with Molly and Freckles. I never expected to have an ‘educating Rita’ moment when they both greeted me with their usual liveliness. Freckles told me of a ‘happening’ that very morning whilst sewing up her Hubby’s trousers. She had finished the repair and was just leaning over the kitchen table to grab the scissors when, to her surprise, Hubby said. “Not this morning Freckles; I’m not in the mood”. She stood aghast and replied. “I’m not in the mood either, so that’s OK then”... I couldn’t stop laughing... A fine pair are Molly and Freckles... They really make me blush, especially me being such a reserved type!!

So what next...

After my constitutional and education in the arts of ‘not tonight Josephine’, I headed back to the Homestead to continue with the production of a variety of products. Wrist Warmers, Hats and Touchstone bags. The pattern is devised from Hebridean Geansaidh (Gansey, Gernsey) patterns dating back to the 19^th Century. A pleasure to knit in 100% Hebridean wool. These will help to support our Craft Fair which is in the village hall every Wednesday until September.

Our first woven products are hot off the loom, scarves and purses. Everything is made on Colonsay and with our very own yarn from our Hebridean sheep due to be flown in within the next few days the sky’s the limit with what we can produce.

We have been out-by too, trying to get 10 sheep ready for the Islay ferry tomorrow. Danger Mouse, the lonely shepherd, was duly called in as Kapitein ran out of puff in the pouring rain and decided to give up when the sheep, led by master escapologist Lola, did a bomb-burst which was almost as good as the tourists on their bikes when a car comes along. As I write, all of the sheep are in-by so it’s just a matter (that maybe sounds a bit too confident doesn’t it) of drafting out the 10 wedders for the afternoon ferry to Islay tomorrow. Two weeks and they’ll be back for onward dispatch to customers both in Colonsay and on the mainland and delicious treat for us as well, together with veggies from the garden.

Stop press...

The 10 wedders were shipped off on yesterday’s ferry to Islay. The Kapitein’s plan worked – a methodical and intricate strategy I must say...

With the help of Holly and Lewis, our very own piper, all were captured and additional shields to stop the elusive ‘jumpers’ (all except Lola of course who scaled the hurdles like Beeches Brook) saw the sheep well and truly secured. A job well done...

Fresh Colonsay Hebridean lamb should be ready in 10 days for onward shipment... Don’t forget to place your orders for a Gigot or two or a rolled shoulder, chops will be supplied also.

Captain Flack and the Trumpton crew do an outstanding job...

Preparations were speeding along for last Thursday’s Ceilidh. This was a special event for all of us and the evening was in aid of the Firefighter’s Charity, a very worthy cause.

Basil The Brush AKA – Fireman Sam – AKA Captain Flack was doing a sterling job in organising things. And as an added bonus (being a girly) the boys would be looking dapper in their uniforms...

We arrived at the village hall amidst the merry throng of Colonsay Midge’s, so hastened through to find a pew.

Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb were all there. The hall filled up quickly with locals and tourists... The dancing was spectacular (it doesn’t half keep you fit). Kapitein’s feet, which have a mind of their own, combined with his natural instinct to always set a course for magnetic North, means he tries to avoid getting on the dance floor and thus prevent a collision, so when an outstretched arm beckoned me to the dance floor... that of Gavalus Gavalar in his uniform..... then I had no hesitation and tripped the light fantastic to a Gay Gordan... we nearly have this dance perfected.

Kapitein is to hopefully enlist the help of the Dancing Queen to hone his skills in the dancing department, though I did see his foot tapping on several occasions and it was almost in time with the music. Well done.

We left at around 11pm as I for one need my beauty sleep... We awoke the following morning to the news that the previous evening had raised a very healthy £1043.00. Fantastic... And then there was the charity car wash funds to add to that on Saturday, which has since been reported to have raised a further £150.00. I also believe there are a couple of additional donations still to come in so all in all that was a pretty major result for a wee island... Many, many thanks to all who contributed and especially to our Fire crew and Barney McGrew.



Pictured are the crew. Their real names are not of course  Captain Flack, Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb...they are...... Basil the Brush (aka Fireman Sam), Carbonout, Mr.Meatloaf, the Other Brewer,Twinkle Toes (aka The Bullet), Captain Marvelous, the Brewer and finally Gavalus Gavalar (aka GG)

The compare for the evening was Two Slices who did a wonderful job of keeping things moving along nice and smoothly.

Well done to all of you and the many, many others who helped behind the scenes.

The Firecrew washing cars...

And there’s more...

We have had another busy week, but not without its ups and downs...

It was the Regatta last Saturday. Splendid weather, just perfect for messing about on the water. Kapitein was raring to go... until... Where were the boat keys? We retraced our steps from our last outing, searched washing machines, the drying green, cars and even considered filleting the dogs but all to no avail... they had just disappeared into thin air. Kapitein had been asked to provide one of the safety boats for the sailing race, so had to go aboard another vessel whilst I continued to turn the house upside-down. Nothing and no sign of the keys anywhere. Kapitein returned, forlorn and pet-lipped!

We returned to the harbour later in the afternoon, via the Pantry to sample one of Gavalus Gavalar’s famous burgers, mmnnn... delicious, miles better than Maccy Dee’s anyday.

The harbour was full of little people (children) and women dressed as men, with beards and moustaches!!  Pirate’s flags and bunting abounded as we watched the teams participate in kayaking and swimming races. The piece de resistance was the long awaited raft race. It never ceases to amaze me how innovative people can be when constructing something that, if truth be known, will never float for very long. Two islanders won a prize for most promising craft and a well deserved accolade I am sure.

On our return to the Homestead, Kapitein decided to set about investigating new keys for the boat. We had long surpassed ‘hot wiring’ as an option, since he duly noted that it would start but may not stop when we most needed it. He finally sourced a firm of chandlers in Norfolk who could probably help. We would have to wait until Monday at 08:30 am to confirm they had spare keys. Sure enough, after several dissections of throttle cables, etc. to get the info, the chandlers had the correct keys and they were dispatched to Connel Airport in Oban that day in order to catch the flight to Colonsay on Tuesday afternoon, along with a meat order for an island customer from Jackson’s the Butcher in Oban as well as our special treat, namely 1kg of prime fillet steak. Fresh meat isn’t often available on our wee island, unless it’s our own lamb, so it was a real delight, especially as Kapitein’s culinary skills are just superb...

So, what to do with ourselves that evening? The Ceilidh of course. Just what was needed to lift our spirits. This particular Ceilidh was in aid of the Village Hall and the RNLI and also as a celebration of two Golden wedding anniversaries, two sisters who had married two brothers, so that’s 100 years of wedded bliss between them. Many, many congratulations to both couples.

There is a particular dance that is performed as couples, at a very, very quick tempo. ‘The Bullet’, otherwise known as Twinkle Toes when he’s on the dance floor is a brilliant dancer, and I for one get great pleasure in watching him. He’s is so light on his feet. Accomplished female dancers know they are in for the dance of their lives if he chooses them. It was also interesting to note that he has finally managed to get girlfriend Twin Peaks onto the dance floor and she is now learning the intricacies of this dance... We can’t wait to see them in action.  The rest of us need the assistance of our very own dance expert the Dancing Queen just to refresh our memories from those childhood dancing lessons. So please Dancing Queen, help us trip the light fandango before the winter sets in!!

While I was away and since my return...

Whilst I was away, Kapitein looked after all things ‘Homestead’. Although I do have a sneaking suspicion he quite likes the peace and tranquillity my mainland visits afford him. He does assure me that I am quite a quiet soul... I know, all of you out there who know me will be belly laughing right now... Quiet, I don’t think so, I hear you say...

A frantic call had come into the Homestead from GG, which was duly answered by Kapitein. The Pantry had been exceptionally busy with visitors from Islay, not just satisfied with May’s Sugary Wonders, but also gorging themselves on chips. Consequently GG had run out of chips and because no potatoes are grown commercially on the island (nor any other crops due to an unfortunate change in farming practices) he had no choice but to request an urgent shipment to be flown in which consisted of 3 boxes of frozen chips, each containing 8 bags of which just 24 hours later only one and a half bags were remaining.

The Homestead is being spruced up by decorator extraordinaire Basil The Brush, who also goes under the name of Fireman Sam depending on whether he has a brush or a hose in his hand at the time, however, other names have been suggested, as apparently on occasions he does have other implements in his hands – a true multi-tasker.. Unfortunately for Basil, the weather has been very good in recent days; the sunshine has been playing havoc with his exposed areas. He has been forced to wear a pair of Gucci sunglasses and a charming beanie hat as he proceeds along the eves and soffits.

Kapitein has been looking after the vegetable patch and weeding the flower beds and had Sampster and Wolfie on long walks whilst I dealt with the trials and tribulations on the mainland.

Unfortunately for Kapitein the horseflies that had been affecting old Ziggy, in the field over the fence, had decided to launch several attacks on the Kapitein whilst he was gardening. Because Kapitein had omitted to lubricate himself in Skin so Soft, he had little chance in fighting off the onslaught. Consequently, upon my return, I discovered a somewhat swollen and hot Kapitein – and not for the reasons I had expected.

Kapitein was not particularly happy as a result of this. The day after I returned, which was a particularly hot and humid day, we decided to walk the dogs, with Kapitein sweating under his zipped up fleece to keep the beasties at bay. Unfortunately for him another horsefly decided to bite him on the only exposed part of his body, the end of his finger, resulting in an even worse reaction and forcing him the day after, to sit with raised arm and icepack in order to bring down his extremely swollen right hand. Ho Hum, this could have had a major impact on all things ‘male’ however all now seems to be on the mend. Kapitein does so prefer to be out on the high seas on such days, rather that fighting off the world-amous Colonsay beasties.

Another shipment has gone off via air freight, consisting of several cones of wool and a set of sheep shears – which broke down after shearing forty five and a half sheep, however we were able to save the situation with a little help from Danger Mouse, the lonely shepherd.

We have also heard rumours of yet another exodus from one of Clearance House establishments, namely the ‘un local’ Hotel. This time it was the chef, closely following on the heels of D’Arlene who has decided to try life on the mainland after 4 years here.  Prior to her leaving, her bubbly effervescence had been tested to the full, with a leaving party that commenced on the Wednesday and only ended, seemingly, though not confirmed, as she boarded the Sunday evening ferry bound for Oban.

It would appear there is difficulty in retaining good staff for some reason, however we wish them all well...

We had the privilege of watching 72 participants in the Fun Run in aid of the Colonsay Medical fund the other day and they still had energy left to attend the Ceilidh. The fund has surpassed its target... Well done to all who participated. It appears we may soon be able to adopt the examination position in comfort down at the surgery once the new device arrives.  

Gavalus Gavalar has been very busy at the Pantry. He organised a Colonsay Food Night, with offerings such as Colonsay Lamb stew (with our very own Hebridean lamb), Oysters, Colonsay Beef and freshly caught Mackerel plus many more delights. What a resounding success and a big hope that he will repeat this regularly in the very near future.  

Coming Home...

Shell shocked isn’t the word. Life in the fast lane – the mainland is quite an experience, especially when I am used to the island ring road.

I disembarked from LOTI at 10.30pm and set off on the many hours journey. Kapitein’s car had a nice blast on the motorways, aided by my very loud music and accompanying singing. I made my destination in the wee small hours.

3 hours sleep and I was collected to head even further south to say farewell to my dear friend with Peggy Sue, eldest daughter (Noney Bean) who, like me, is not vertically challenged and youngest daughter (Little Miss No No) who is vertically challenged and somewhat short-coupled and needs step ladders to mount her sister’s 17.2 hh shire cross cob, Fudgeypoos. We were driven by Little Miss No No's fiancé , the Mechanic.

My friend and her family chose a Humanist service which was very fitting; through tears of sadness, and of laughter, we listened as the reader spoke of my friend as if he knew her personally. Many anecdotal stories brought back very fond memories of our times together during her too short 60 years. I shall never forget those times, nor her wisdom and honesty. Saying ‘Tot Ziens’, we headed for the wake in a local hostelry we had frequented in our younger days. Family and friends reminisced and we toasted our friend with a glass of her favourite tipple, at the bar beside her photograph. Very apt and appropriate.

Peggy Sue and I met with several others there from our time with the Regiment. Earwig regaling tales of Peggy Sue and I when we were young and daft but the telling of those will save till another day.

With heavy hearts we headed back north where I was deposited at my lodgings in preparation for the following day – Hospital...

An epic journey using public transport saw me arrive, on time, at the new centre for Breast Screening. I was interviewed upon arrival and the nurse explained the processes I may have to face. As a straight talker, I did mention that if it turned out to be worst case scenario then I would like to leave looking like Pamela Anderson. I thought Jordan would be a step too far...unless of course I could have inflatable implants that would double up as buoyancy aids whilst on the high seas with Kapitein and thus avoid the need for the lifejacket with its rather tight crutch strap.

I was asked to ‘slip’ into something more comfortable - a rather fetching (not) and accessible (very) front fastening gown, in pink of course. Having to wait, as one does at such appointments, I took to my knitting as a nice distraction. Hands and mind duly occupied, I rattled through numerous lines of work on 4 needles, only dropping the odd stitch as folk came and went. Then it was my turn. More Mammograms... is it easier if you have large breasts or small ones? I really don’t know!

A further wait and I was called in for an ultrasound scan. This is a very thorough process, and yes they detected an anomaly, but............ nothing to worry about at the moment. WHAT RELIEF. It appears it may just be part of me, me and my anomaly. The final outcome? I may be called back in a month for a second opinion.

The moral of the story: check breasts every month, learn about your own shape and when called for your primary screening and possible re-calls, always attend the appointments and never, ever, put it off.

Kapitein has kindly offered to ‘lend a hand’ in this regular monitoring. He is so thoughtful.

I later met with Noney Bean and a little retail therapy was in order before heading yet further north and closer to home. I stayed with friends in the lowlands that night but was up and away by 5am and heading for Oban.

Kapitein says that ‘the sun shines when angels travel’ and glorious sunshine there was indeed, as I arrived.  Just one more appointment and my MOT was complete - the Dentist. A quick root canal job and I was on my way to the ferry.

On board MV Isle of Arran and I was able to sit on deck and watch the mainland disappear from view... Magic... I was almost home...

And what adventures, happenings and news from Colonsay while I was away? Lots to report of course and report I shall – soon!